Take a stroll down Pannal High Street and you might fall victim to torticollis* from spending your time gazing upwards. For Pannal is renowned around the globe for the extreme height of its residents. While the Netherlands as a nation may have the tallest citizens (lange mensen), Pannal can quite literally put those folk in the shade. This trend for extreme height began back in the 1980s when the World's Tallest Man competition took place there. Contestants took a liking to the town's notoriously laid-back vibe and decided to settle there. When one of them, Tall Paul Ball of Gaul, was elected Lord Mayor, he introduced an edict ruling that all newcomers must stand at least 6'4 (male) and 6'2 (female) in their stockinged feet. When re-elected, the authoritarian Ball began to forcibly evict all Pannalians of a shorter stature than 5'10 to nearby towns such as Little Smeaton or Busby Stoop. A steel wall to be built around the town is the latest controversial measure to be proposed by Ball.
Against this backdrop, the diminutive players of Menston Rangers took on Pannal Sports on an intemperate March morning. Barker and captain Fleming returned to the fold after long absences through injury. The expansive and high-quality 4G surface was conducive to the Menston playing style and in the early stages, the away side distributed the ball with confidence. Against opponents set up to contain, opportunities were initially few before a stunning finish from Macauley opened the scoring. Rangers continued to press, but a combination of resilience from Pannal and wayward shooting meant the halftime score remained 1-0. Indeed, on rare forays forward, Sports presented some danger.
The game as a contest was over minutes after the resumption. First Fleming finished off a lovely move and shortly afterwards the prolific Boughan put away his seventh goal in the last nine matches. The remainder of the match was a chance for Menston to show off their prowess on the ball. Taylor on the left and Jefferson on the right were outstanding, combinations of grace and power. With five minutes to play, Ainsworth made it four through his customary single goal contribution.
Remarkably, all four scorers measure five foot ten or shorter, delivering a convincing counter to the warped ideology of Tall Paul Ball of Gaul.

* a cricked neck